When
I was about four or five years old, I fell in love-
and hard. It was a wonderful feeling, the kind every girl wishes she could
have. I grew up with that same love. Through
the years I gave him all of my love and care, and he’d show the same. It couldn’t
get any better and as long as we were together, my life was complete- or so I
thought. HE then came and snuck into my life.
He seduced and lured me in, tempting me with sweet words and a
beautiful smile. He almost had me
until I thought and remembered the precious memories with my
love. I backed away and thought, "No! I can't- I mustn’t!
I've loved too much for so long! I can't just let it go!"
"Then don't." He whispered into my ear. I backed away. My head was
spinning and reeling with his words. How could he say that it's so simple? It
could never be so simple! Could it?
Days and weeks of my life passed and so did his. I continued
with my love, only giving a sideways glance to my lingering temptation. He'd
smile then look away, showering his current fancy with his attentions. Inside,
I felt a prickling pain and thought, "That could be me!"
But with a final snickering grin, he continued on, and I with my only love.
Months then passed. My love and I struggled to maintain our
relationship. His mood swings and inconsistencies left exhausted and frustrated
at night. As I worked long hours to make sense of his ways, I never complained.
It was my labor of love. As long as he was by my side, I should be happy,
right?
One night, my love and I quarreled once again. This time a
simple “I love you” could not dissipate the lingering tension. Crumpled paper
and books were tossed carelessly about the room and a mountain of my clothes lay
in piles on the floor and bed. I looked to him holding my favorite blue and
white ceramic bowl he had given to me during our high school years. I held it
above my head preparing to toss it onto the floor. But I couldn’t. All of our memories together, they were too
precious to me. If I had tossed that bowl, it would mean I had given up on him-
on us.
I backed away from him and gently placed the bowl back inside
the kitchen cabinet. Feeling my throat tighten, I took a deep breath as I tried
to reign in my frustration and tears. I looked at him as he sat with his now
usual emotionless expression. He rose from his position and approached me with
open arms, but still with an uncaring demeanor. I backed away before he could
wrap his arms around me. No longer able to bare his detached affections, I did
the only thing I could think of: I ran.
To be continued....
